Two cents of an Agalloch fan

Agalloch - noun

the fragrant, resinous wood of an East Indian tree, Aquilariaagallocha,  of the mezereum family, used as incense in the Orient.

What started off as a simple demo in the form of 'From which of this oak' has now spawned into four immensely successful albums and a myriad of good EPs which,in the words of the band, represent the fringes of the sounds they want to develop and are the creative outlet for the band.

Formed in 1995, in Portland, Oregon, Agalloch has mainly stayed away from the mainstream metal scene. They have been invariably lumped into a variety of genres, post rock, folk metal, doom metal being some of them. But as singer/guitarist John Haughm puts it, Agalloch started off as a Dark metal band and that is how they intend it to be always.

Right from their demo tape upto the hugely successful 'Marrow of the spirit', which was rated as one of the best albums of 2010, Agalloch's lyrical themes have revolved around Pantheism, nature, winter and Nordic imagery. They have also been heavily influenced by cinema of the likes of Ingmar Bergman, Bila Tarr, Bernardo Bertolucci and the like. The band didn't start performing live until very recently and have done so to rave responses especially from the fans in Europe. So much so, they have even come out with a live DVD which includes some interviews from the band which are pretty hard to find otherwise. Also included on the live DVD are some amazing captures of the natural surrounds which are an absolute must-have.

The band's first full length album was 'Pale Folklore' and the melancholic riffs of the demo tape were carried forward but their sound evolved as it has with every album. The songs on this record were mostly around the 10 minute mark which has now become a real trademark of the band. 'Dead winter days', 'Hallways of Enchanted Ebony' and 'The melancholy spirit' were some of the masterpieces off this album.

The band's second full length venture was ' The Mantle' which in my humble opinion is the band's best and most complete effort. The band unanimously state in interviews that this is invariably a Portland album, set around the scenic locales of the area where the band come from. This album contains the 14 and a half minute epic, 'In the shadow of our pale companion' which was the song which got me into Agalloch. Other notable songs include, among others, the musical masterpiece, 'Odal', the acoustic based, 'A desolation song' and ' You were but a ghost in my arms'.

After 'The mantle', the band stripped down their music and produced a more metal based album in the form of 'Ashes against the grain'. Acoustic sections, which were so prevalent on 'The Mantle' were dropped and it also gave us a glimpse of Agalloch's first real upbeat song in the form of 'Falling snow'. This album includes the three part magnum opus, 'Our fortress is burning' characterized with amazingly solemn bass lines and heart wrenching riffs and lyrics to back up.

The band's latest offering, 'Marrow of the spirit' has almost seen the band come full circle. You can see traces and snippets of all the earlier work done by Agalloch in this one. Also this album is characterized by the raw sound, quite like the demo due to analog recording as insisted by the band. As always, the epic song of this album is the 17 and a half minute long epic, 'Black Lake Nidstang'. More than anything this album leaves the door open for endless possibilities to take this band forward into unknown realms where not many artists have gone. I for one, cannot wait to get my 'Ashes against the Grain' official shirt, my first piece of Agalloch merchandise and yes you guessed it, it was pretty hard to find!

Untitled.

Friends not so long ago, estranged now..
This strange conundrum of fate
Is this the end of it all?
I wonder...
Will our bond, to life's fickle whims surrender?

Flying through winds of dissent..
of shared misery
The joy of it all..
the carefree glee
mocking those with weary shoulders
the kinds fooling themselves..
the mere placeholders..

Drifting along like connoisseurs
in an endless array of delectable artforms..
now all that seems eons along

The imperfections..
the disapprobations
reared their ugly head
like a sleeping monster, out of nowhere
laying waste to what lies ahead..

You said I didn't care
that I didn't bother
I hope this lets you know, the truth couldn't be farther..

With every piece why does this jigsaw seem further incomplete?
Is this the end of it all I wonder
Gone with the wind to eternally surrender?

As embers dress the sky

Sitting under this pale imposing oak

Under the moonlit azure skies

Thirsty for your love

for your touch I pine

like the parched earth

for a drop of water so divine

I am but a marionette

on love's string

I am but a pained poet

for fickle love's whim 

Without your presence

My soul lingers on aimless

Incomplete,deformed,melancholic

obtrused by your overpowering need.

Is this the realization of a golden dawn? 

or yet does the daunting night persist

Draped in Ethereal beauty

you appear..

But the dream shatters....

shattered by the nonchalant unrelenting truth

The bitter truth ....

As I stare out into the starlit

now velvet sky

my affections seem a malediction

yet addicted am I to this sweet affliction

Here's to love, the great sickness

the herald of eternal misery....

Russian Roulette

Gun to head and so the game begins
The bets rolling in,
the lone survivor wins..

A bullet in the chamber
Six to one the odds..
the odds of life and death..
The ghastly instant..
someone's last breath

Click Click... the chamber rotates
Time to die!
or will it be a lucky break

The greedy patrons..
boisterous..
oblivious of the horror..
the horror that swept..
the players.. face to face..
Lambs led to slaughter in this deathly race...

The cold metal against skin
Fingers trembling amid the fucking din

Trigger pulled..
The agonising wait..
But will death be fooled?

Blast goes the gun
Blood spouting out..
the game takes its price

A life lost, A dollar earned
Who's next in line to play..any takers?
for his blood, the gun next yearns..

The macabre of the game
Lost on all..the same
The addiction, the thrill
..the trip is too much to take..beyond any will..

As I place the gun to my head
I think of something I didn't to this day
Could these be my last words
these words I could just say..

The wind

Our love is like the wind
I wish I could live my life again,in rewind
Just so i could again live those cheerful moments with you
Its like a dream too good to come true

Wish i could relive that first rain
Dont know why but when i think of it,i'm relieved of every pain
The way we were fretting over our hair getting wet
The way it downpoured when we first met

All those tears you shed for me while leaving
Are as precious to me as any gift worth receiving
I wish i could get back those moments when we laughed together
And all those songs we played for each other

But i believe,i believe in our love,it'll never fail
And through this rocky weather we shall soundly sail
Our love is like the wind
I wish I could live my life again,in rewind

The apparitions of a time gone by

Forlorn, with an unspoken anguish

Perennial closure, my only wish

A flailing heart long mended

A wound long healed yet untended

Memories under Azure skies

desolated by an unflinching storm

Moments shared

lost in time eternal

Like tears lost

in a rain so sepulchral

This fire burns in me undeterred

The helplessness overcomes me unfettered

Remnants of hope long gone

haunt me in this battle I wage alone

As I tread on this path again

Solitude looming over my sojourn,

memories my only bane

Moments shared

lost in time eternal

Like tears lost

in a rain so sepulchral..

The Realization of a Puzzle.

                                                                                The Realization of a Puzzle.

“ Mm hmm 5 pm. Ok.” Ram hung up the phone. It was a typical April morning.  The shrill sun sending forth its beams through the light tinted glass of the windows. The continous chirping of the birds provided a pleasant if not joyous backdrop to a lazy morning. Ram’s mother was getting ready to leave for work and was in the midst of her usual hustle and bustle at this time every day. “So when is he coming?” she asked, more out of curiousity than mere concern. “5 in the evening at the station as usual.” Ram replied. It had been seven months since his father had filed for divorce. The day it happened, Ram like any other son living in the fantasy of a perfect family was shattered but with time he got used to it and what was utter disbelief and dejection at first, turned to courteous disregard as time wore on. His mother, like the firm believer in God, she was refused to employ a lawyer and presented her side of the case herself. The verdict went in her favor and the court saw no grounds to grant a divorce. Ram saw it as a triumph of courage and truth while his father saw it as a gender bias from the female judge.

“One, station” Ram bought his ticket as soon as he boarded the bus as he usually liked to do. He, though, didn’t like stepping out in the evening too much. The thought of the bus making its way through hordes of people made him want to stay home and watch people teeing off on the green instead. As he’d expected he got late owing to the traffic and saw his father waiting across the ticket counters. His father suggested going to the Irani café nearby to talk. Ashenfaced, Ram sat across his father in the café, his father, with whom he hadn’t had a decent conversation in over three years. “ So how is college?” his father asked. “Going pretty well” said Ram, as if reading from a script. “Here, this is 4000, keep it.”  His father said handing over an envelope. “Why don’t you ever call me? It’s always me calling you to check on you.” His father asked. “I’m really busy with college and my internship and so don’t really get the time.” Said Ram with a shrug of his shoulders as if to convince himself, more than his father. “Hmm. I’ve heard the chicken here is pretty good, you want something to eat?” asked his father. “Nah, I’m good.” Replied Ram almost as if wanting to end this awkward meeting”. “Okay so everything else fine?” “Mm Hmm.” “Okay then I’ll leave now. Do call me sometime okay?” “Mm okay.” Replied Ram, almost relieved that it was time to go now. After his father left, Ram decided to take a smoke. He’d been smoking now for two years oblivious to his mother of course. As he stood at the shanty , smoking, he wondered what his father would say if he saw him there smoking but, as was the case with all the other thoughts about his father, he put this one on the backburner too.

Time passed quickly, Ram was busy with his BMS classes and preparing for his imminent MBA entrance exams. 

                Meanwhile he and his mother were invited over at his aunt’s place to celebrate the occasion of his aunt’s 40^th birthday. Knowing that his father would be present there along with the rest of their family with whom, he hadn’t really interacted much after the problems between his parents, Ram was quite reluctant to go. Eventually he ended up going after all since his aunt, with whom he was quite close since he was little, insisted on him coming. While greeting his family members after quite a long time, the awkwardness was quite palpable from his face and mannerisms. He talked a bit to his father, in the inhibited way he usually did and then mostly kept to himself and his earphones. “What are you listening to?” his 11 year old sister asked him. “Nothing, Just some music.””Can I play on your mobile?” “Alright but I don’t have many games, just one where you have to complete a jigsaw puzzle. Here I’ll show you how to play.” “Thanks so much bro!” “Its okay but be careful alright?” “Mm hmm” his sister replied, now completely engrossed in the game.

After dinner, he went into the room where all the men of the family were having a chat over few drinks. “Want something Ram?” his uncle asked him. Knowing his father was in the same room, Ram quite sheepishly asked what they were having. “Vodka” his uncle replied. “Have you ever had any?” “No.” lied Ram conveniently overlooking those birthday parties with his friends. “Here try a shot. Don’t worry I’ll talk to your father.” Ram, somewhat reassured now, had the pint. He saw his uncle talking to his father from a distance. Though he couldn’t actually guess what he said, but he could make out that his father looked quite okay with it. “So how many times have you had drinks before?” his father said as he sat next to him with his glass. “Just a couple of times, with friends, only beer though.” Ram replied nervously. “And your mother knows?” “No, you know her, she’ll just freak out. It’s okay though. I’m 19 now and I do it responsibly.” “ Do you know why I allowed you to drink here?” “No. Why?” “Because I know you are young and you will want to try things but at least I want you to try them in front of me rather than with people who you may think are your friends.” When his father said that Ram could only look up at him and smile. First time he had done that in years, he realized. “Ram, I know circumstances have been difficult for us lately, but I want you to think of me as a friend first. I always think that eases the gap between a father and a son and helps build trust. I know you’re a responsible kid but I also know trust is a two way street. I can’t expect you to trust me unless I trust you first. So anytime you need to talk about anything, you can come to me.” “Yes dad.” was all Ram could say, finding it hard to hide his surprise at his father’s words. Ram and his father talked some more and gradually Ram could feel the ice cracking after all these years. “Alright. I think I better sleep now. I have to leave for Bhopal tomorrow. I’ll be back in a week or so though.” His father said as he got up. “I’ll call you dad.” Ram said with a smile. Just then his sister came running into the room,” I did it bro! The puzzle is complete!”

This life is too short to mull over what’s wrong. Many a times the answers to all our questions are right there in front of us, but we are just too afraid or too rigid to recognize them J.