Thursday, January 20, 2011

Lake Fritha

Act I
"Oh the wonders the lord creates
These marvels for which to conjure, he deigns
This pastoral beauty around me
sings to me, a solemn yet soothing madrigal
while the sun shines in all its glory
This truth we all see
But I shall never forget!

But for a moment
for all but a fleeting moment
The sky goes dark
Coldness engulfs the plains
The sun bears a cold white mask
Birds scamper to their burrows
The wolves howl
Is this the end?
Has God forsaken us?
Is this the inevitable damnation we brought upon us?

Will the earth devour us all?
Will the sky fall upon us?
Will the mountains run off?
Will the lakes turn crimson?

But then
the crescent rays appear
It is not over..

We have escaped the weight of darkness..
To drown in another, solemn nihil.

Act II

Mount of Tormod:
"I am the one
the protector of my love
from every evil..
every repugnant soul

I see cold disregard
this pillaging I witness
Fritha...(cold whispers)
Bloody tears I shed
for those damned, will suffer

With icy hands I bury my love
Her tomb damp with my piercing tears
Snow falls on these wounds
My tears shall never freeze
for they will live on forever
with her sacred, virgin soul..


"Ragged, raped, disfigured
a corpse led to rot
in a long forgotten grave

My decadence shall fill you with misery
for you are but caricatures of God

This peril I portend
shall engulf you
and posterity

This truth you see but choose to forget
this truth which I shall take to my black tomb

This silence shall pierce your ears
These ghouls within me shall torment you
A blackened curse to those who corrupt these sacrosanct waters
A curse to those who lay waste to these poignant haunts

This truth you see but choose to forget
this truth which I shall take to my black tomb"


Sunday, January 16, 2011

Assertions of a labyrinthine mind

The cello, I believe was invented for the single purpose of evoking an emotion in those, listening to it.

All around me I see caricatures. The ideal son, the ideal brother, the ideal lover, the ideal student, the ideal disciple, the ideal.. well pervert, yeah there are those too. I look at myself and wonder, which one am I?

They say things aren't usually what they appear. But if I believe in the world I see around me, I also believe the above caricatures aren't just mythical beings or prototypes created to control the chaos around us. I guess now that I think of it, maybe I do have miniscule traces of each these caricatures in me but I also do know I'm a very good liar. Sorry about that guys.

There are points in everyone's life when they, as they put it, take stock of their life. Look at what they have and what they lack. I've also read somewhere that it is important in life, to not necessarily be happy or content but to feel happy. It is also implied in various self-help books and through mundane advise that you should be happy for what you have, money, a home, clothes.(Although I should state here that I indeed am thankful for a lot of things that do matter in my life and I always will be). But it always struck me, why do we have to measure this happiness, per se, in terms of material possessions? Will these acquisitions truly make anyone happy? It's what we encounter on a daily basis. Our priorities sway from week to week, day to day, sometimes. Once we acquire something we want, there's no time to sit back, feel gratified and be happy about it, the dash begins as we pursue the next thing we crave. It's like going around in circles with no stop signs in sight.

What pleases me amidst all this is while my life has gone on, I've started developing a tendency to find happiness in the smallest of things, which usually are the purest and the most sacrosanct and yet regretfully neglected by most. Looking back, if I may now, I feel like my life was pretty much mapped out for me for the last ten years at least. Having said that, during any fleeting yet cherishable moments of weakness, where I wished things were different, I am the only one I can find to blame. And I can safely say that, the fact that I can say that so assuredly is very calming and soothing because it emblazons me with the assurance that at least a part of my destiny is within my control if not all of it.
What scares me more about myself is not the turbulence that persists within me but how I can so effectively and effortlessly conceal it from those around me.

Dedicated to everyone who has been there for me and helped me make what I am now :)

The foolish lover - V

You are the ray of light
in the array of darkness in my life
You are the reason I fight
And smilingly face every strife

You are my only inspiration
And the source for my positive vibration
Hope is one thing i find in you
And every day now i find brand new

You make me wanna be better
Now,never comes to my mind,the thought of being a quitter
You are my ray of light
You are the reason i fight

Never thought i would love someone so much
And have intense feelings as such
But now that i do
I'm so glad its you

The foolish lover - IV

My days without you,so empty
As listless as life in a lifeless city
This feeling of you not being here
And you were right,this really isnt fair

Wish i could look into ur eyes once again
I'll be there to protect you from any pain
Wish i could hold u in my arms one more time
I'm sorry if thinking so much about you is a crime

I wish i could say exactly what i feel in words
The thought of not being with you is like my heart being sliced by swords
This feeling of you not being here
And you were right,this really isnt fair

I pray to God our love lasts forever
Give me a cure,i suffer from ur fever
Wish i could hold u in my arms one more time
I'm sorry if thinking so much about you is a crime

The walls of entrapment

How true,looks indeed do deceive,
you can see the smile on his face,
you can see the glint in his eyes,
But damned is he forever..
for there is no one who can know the pain he feels inside..

Years ago, with dreams in his eyes,
His journey began unhintered
Sticking to his path all along, though
somewhere he faltered..

This majestic but solemn citadel encompasses him
Can't break down these dreary walls
A prisoner of his own mind
With no sign of reprieve to find

As he sifts through the ruins
There is no comfort,
no warmth for which he pines
The culmination into perdition would be his sentence..
or so a weary soul may opine...
"It had to be someone and it was me" he wails
When every reason for his predicament fails.

But then... a brilliant sun ray pierces a thousand black clouds
keeps him going, for he knows, destiny is his
..and this is his destiny

As I wipe that tear and place my pen down
I find the citadel around me bathed in sunlight..
The light...ever so enriching light of hope..

For hope is the greatest of all things and it never dies...

In the sands of time

The reunion/In the sands of time..

Years bygone seem like an abrasive dream
Flash do they in front of my eyes like a blur
Memories of old, flood my wavering mind
like daunting clouds approaching a docile horizon so kind..

As I look into your eyes..
after all these years
Do i still see me, I ask myself
But lost youth reflects back at me
youth lost in the sands of time..

The grains slip out of my hands
like early morning dew off a blade of grass

Unkept promises look me in the eye
with the anguish of an unborn offspring
Dreams unfulfilled stalk me
with the pain of leaves trampled by the unforgiving winter

I feel my throat cracking up
Words created but not delivered
like the love we found
shared only to lose

Your eyes swell up
I long to hold you again..
but I tremble with abject hesitation..

Will it be the same if I run my fingers along your tender skin
If I brush my lips against yours
If I hold you against my chest
Questions created but not delivered...

Woeful silence fills the space between us
Wistful glances exchanged

The mistakes come flooding back to haunt me
Like the roaring waves
Devouring everything.. laying waste..

The rancor of love left incomplete
of love lost
of love lost..eternally in the sands of time..

The escapades of the vagabond

Feel this urge within me
Deep like the gorges beneath
to scale the highest peaks
where the holy souls still reside
Feel my soul purged
My every inhibition and misgiving submerged

Feel this desire within me
to walk the endless of all roads
to explore the majestic of all citadels
to ascend the ladder of clouds to a heaven..
a heaven so close to earth yet so far...

Feel this need inside me
To touch the beams of sunlight impaling
the clouds in an azure sky
like rays of hope passing
the endless hordes of despair and misery, by.

I feel free to reach the horizon
where the sky and gleaming sea have a rendezvous
left my home behind but have I really?
Is it another illusion which appears true?

I can smell the freshness of the buds
innocent like that of a virgin bride..

The vagabond in me moves with knowledge..
My final stop will be the grave.. but these words
shall live on forever more!

The anguish of unfulfilled artistry

Winds of dissent rage through my mind
Coiled ideas, never do they unwind

Closing my eyes
I envision surrounds I cherish
Locales sheltered in the womb of nature
Pristine like a mother's tender touch

But this barrenness overcomes me
The seeds of doubt abundant..
They laugh at me with glee..

Stalked by this quagmire, not a way out in sight
Words trapped in the labyrinth of thoughts
As I falter and fumble to make these wrongs right..

Desolated, for this nightmare to end, I pine
Pangs of frustation, tedium run down my spine

Storms of dissent they rage through my mind
A debilitating storm, of a kind..

Retribution beyond the grave

Retribution from the other world

Deathly Silence fills the night sky
Pierced it gets by someone's hallowed cry
Consigned to death by you my only one
Now I'll make you pay for the sins you've done

As I lie in solitude
In this lonely grave
Now its your blood and not you
that I crave..

How I've waited for this night to come
Laid to rot,my corpse,for retribution yearns
Breaking open this casket,a deathly rattle i hum
To attain vengeance,this fire in me burns

Shocked you are to see me,
you let out a scream
Gagging you,I grab you
even as you try to flee

My hands find a dagger
As fatality, my sole mission beckons
I stab you brutally
till you begin to stagger

With every stab of mine
You fall further into death's pit
My hands red with your incestous,unfaithful blood
The taste of retribution is indeed sweet

As your life enters the final round
I look straight into your eyes one final time
My soul vindicated,it finds peace with this crime
You were right,what goes around,does come around.

The foolish lover - III

Sent from the heavens by the lord,
You,from the day we met we struck a chord,
Our love,this feeling we share so true
I'll love you till the sky is blue

When i hold you in my arms
and run my fingers down your skin
Struck am i from day one by your charms
Us together from then,16 months now its been

Kept away from you by fate
I wait for you,please dont be late
This time spent away from you
Your memories linger on making me blue

This love,you and me share..
Believe me love
without you another second i couldn't bear
without your love...

If you were ever to leave me
In solitude,myself,I'd drown
From this world i'd yearn to flee
And at life itself I'd frown :)
Our love,this feeling we share so true
I'll love you till the sky is blue

I'm sorry for those two times
Those two times i let you go
If it was my will,for you I'd commit a million crimes
And suffer any pain till my blood will flow

I'll be your shoulder when we're old
You'll be still priceless to me then as gold
This life we'll share
with loads of love and care
Our love,this feeling we share so true
I'll love you till the sky is blue

The foolish lover - II

I love it when you make me smile
My love for you flows like the river nile
I love it when you make me laugh
And no amount of Love for you is enough..

I love it when you make me blush
Ur every word makes my blood rush
I love it when you make me sing
Baby,you make my heart bell ring

I cant thank you enough for loving me so much
And showering me with deep affections such
Every moment spent with you is utter bliss
My love,I really dont know if i deserve this

Everything around me reminds me of you
Saying it from the bottom of my heart,yeah baby its true
I miss you all the time,Honey all the time
Plzz forgive me if loving you so much is such a crime

Living on a prayer

What do you pray for?
I pray for restoration of my belief in love
I pray for the belief that love is not just a four letter word
and that it has an existence
I pray, above all for faith

I am not saint
I am replete with faults like any mortal
But I pray I can be the best I can
for those around me and above all for me..

I pray for my resurrection in trust
in a belief that every being is inherently good
I pray above all for faith...
What do you pray for...

I pray so I'm purged of every form of anger
from every feeling of resentment borne out of being dealt with unfairly
from every feeling of aversion towards any foe
What do you pray for?

I pray for peace of mind
to deal with the turmoil around (within?) me
But above all I pray for faith
Faith which is the essence of life itself
For Faith is a torment. It is like loving someone who is out there in the darkness but never appears, no matter how loudly you call...

The last line quoted from the movie 'Det sjunde inseglet' , one of my all time favourite movies :)

The first one..

When I wake up in the morning
I look out at the sky
and then I wait for u to call
for me to say hi

the day starts anew
when i think of u
and of how it's gonna be,with u besides me
every moment i spend with you is filled with unsurmountable glee

I take a look around,look at the world and hear the sounds
Dont know if you know it but my love for u holds no bounds
When you arent with me,time passes so slow
When i hear your voice i feel my heart glow

Never imagined i would be so proud to call someone my lil sis
but now that you are,saying that is utter bliss
From the time i've known you,dont why but i found you cute
And the pain of separation from you is always immensely acute

I'm not much of a poet as you'd know
And never have i written anything for anyone
But something about you makes my heart glow
Yes you are the one i love,the only one

How i wish for you to be here now
But i promise you sis I'll be there no matter what
To catch and wipe your tears if they ever fall
I always wanted a sis like you and what a gift from God,i got!

Every night before i sleep
I read your messages on my phone
Only we know,how our love,like an ocean,is deep
You'll always be in my heart no matter how far you've gone

The foolish lover

Love's a strong word you said
And asked if i was as sure as you about this mode we made
Maybe you should cut apart my heart one day
And you'd see its ur name,just ur name which is there to stay :)

All those dreams we have seen
Baby you only you are my perfect love story scene :)
I cant even imagine a moment without you
Its like picturing the sky not being blue

When god comes to take me away
I'd beg him to grant me with you,another day
Neither in Heaven nor Hell without i wont stay
Though another day with you would give me more happiness than 1000 heavens may

Ur name is the one i inhale in every breath
Yeah baby i love you,i love you to death
Coz the day in my love you stop believing
Is the day on this earth i stop living

Honey you are the only one who can make me write
If ever anythings wrong,I'd anything to make it right
Ur name is the one i inhale in every breath
Yeah baby i love you,i love you to death

Innocence Smothered

Thrust into this world,my initiation begins
Miracles expected from me,devoid of a magic lamp or gins..
Like a tyro thrown into the deep end
I grapple to endure this life its only reward,a stipend..

As I burgeon my world starts expanding
But why do I feel every thought of mine disbanding?
Confined to a cocoon,narrowed,so restricted..
Why is my every desire,my every wish constricted?

Years pass by but this emptiness I cant conquer
Resigned to my fate in the face of an exacting society..
Why does my heart stray and not concur?
With this path chosen,chosen for me but not by me

One day in senility when I look back
What will I remember and cherish?
The erudition I earned through abnegation of my knack?
This life of a pedant till the day I perish..

This storm in my head never abates..
Will I ever truly be able to throw open these gates?

Years pass by but this emptiness I wont conquer
Resigned to my fate in the face of an exacting society..
Why does my heart stray and not concur?
With this path chosen,chosen for me but not by me

I am sorry

I am sorry Dad
Sorry if i ever made you sad
I alwaystried my best to make you proud
But could'nt ur sky of this dark despair cloud

I'm sorry for falling short on ur expectations
Maybe you never understood my aspirations
Miss the times you used to spend with me
Now it seems you are hardly ever free

All the football games we used to play when i was younger
Are etched in my mind but all this now seems a blunder
I know i havent grown up like you wanted me to
But were you here more often when i grew up,is that true ?

The way you disapprove of what i want to do
It hurts,hurts like a bolt from the blue
Nothings perfect and neither am I
But i hope someday i can make you smile rather than making you sigh

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Two cents of an Agalloch fan

Agalloch - noun
the fragrant, resinous wood of an East Indian tree, Aquilariaagallocha,  of the mezereum family, used as incense in the Orient.

What started off as a simple demo in the form of 'From which of this oak' has now spawned into four immensely successful albums and a myriad of good EPs which,in the words of the band, represent the fringes of the sounds they want to develop and are the creative outlet for the band.

Formed in 1995, in Portland, Oregon, Agalloch has mainly stayed away from the mainstream metal scene. They have been invariably lumped into a variety of genres, post rock, folk metal, doom metal being some of them. But as singer/guitarist John Haughm puts it, Agalloch started off as a Dark metal band and that is how they intend it to be always.

Right from their demo tape upto the hugely successful 'Marrow of the spirit', which was rated as one of the best albums of 2010, Agalloch's lyrical themes have revolved around Pantheism, nature, winter and Nordic imagery. They have also been heavily influenced by cinema of the likes of Ingmar Bergman, Bila Tarr, Bernardo Bertolucci and the like. The band didn't start performing live until very recently and have done so to rave responses especially from the fans in Europe. So much so, they have even come out with a live DVD which includes some interviews from the band which are pretty hard to find otherwise. Also included on the live DVD are some amazing captures of the natural surrounds which are an absolute must-have.

The band's first full length album was 'Pale Folklore' and the melancholic riffs of the demo tape were carried forward but their sound evolved as it has with every album. The songs on this record were mostly around the 10 minute mark which has now become a real trademark of the band. 'Dead winter days', 'Hallways of Enchanted Ebony' and 'The melancholy spirit' were some of the masterpieces off this album.

The band's second full length venture was ' The Mantle' which in my humble opinion is the band's best and most complete effort. The band unanimously state in interviews that this is invariably a Portland album, set around the scenic locales of the area where the band come from. This album contains the 14 and a half minute epic, 'In the shadow of our pale companion' which was the song which got me into Agalloch. Other notable songs include, among others, the musical masterpiece, 'Odal', the acoustic based, 'A desolation song' and ' You were but a ghost in my arms'.

After 'The mantle', the band stripped down their music and produced a more metal based album in the form of 'Ashes against the grain'. Acoustic sections, which were so prevalent on 'The Mantle' were dropped and it also gave us a glimpse of Agalloch's first real upbeat song in the form of 'Falling snow'. This album includes the three part magnum opus, 'Our fortress is burning' characterized with amazingly solemn bass lines and heart wrenching riffs and lyrics to back up.

The band's latest offering, 'Marrow of the spirit' has almost seen the band come full circle. You can see traces and snippets of all the earlier work done by Agalloch in this one. Also this album is characterized by the raw sound, quite like the demo due to analog recording as insisted by the band. As always, the epic song of this album is the 17 and a half minute long epic, 'Black Lake Nidstang'. More than anything this album leaves the door open for endless possibilities to take this band forward into unknown realms where not many artists have gone. I for one, cannot wait to get my 'Ashes against the Grain' official shirt, my first piece of Agalloch merchandise and yes you guessed it, it was pretty hard to find!